Відео

We getting some elden dlc playghrough stuff?

Hang in there, Eli.

💯💯💯

As a 38 year old man who is recently (as of last week) going through a divorce after a 10 year marriage and having lost most of my family due to illness and while being a former alcoholic and opiate addict who has been clean for 5 years. This is too damn relatable. The irregular sleep schedules, the feelings of uncertainty, confusion, not knowing how to feel about certain things when you know you should be feeling SOMETHING.. The constant feeling of impending doom, like the walls are closing in. The unknown.. It's a crazy feeling, not knowing who you are, or how to feel, or what lies ahead..

Finally... an art gripe for ME

Hi, i really enjoy watching you draw and you are great at it and seem very talented and it leaves me here left wishing i could also draw as well, could you please make a video explaining how you got into drawing and how and where you learned. Thank you and keep up the good work.

I hope your doing well. "Morning Winnie dear."

That memory of your grandma is fucking brutal man had me choking up a little. Thank you for sharing all this shit with us, even though i'm still going through the process of reconciling with my bagage, I love hearing people share theirs.

I feel as though I’m getting better at identifying these same things within myself that you identify within yourself as I listen to these more personal videos. I think it’s genuinely helping me get better to myself and those around me, it’s helped me to not seek out as much control to feel better as I used to. Thank you. These ease the path towards the progress I’m working towards.

You're stronger than me.

Thank u for descriptions on stuff i couldnt describe cause a feeling is a feeling ya know. And i know we aint going through the same stuff but i wanted to say u are not alone no one is ever alone not really. Now im off to shake away my own walls and need for that emotion invincibility

Its really fascinating how certain influences lead to certain behaviors. I was treated much like your father treated you and i developed the same urge to build walls around myself and try not to feel anything. Its a hard one to get past and well done for getting this far. We all grow and learn and find ways to survive our parents.

Your problems are no larger or smaller than anyone else's. You matter and how you feel matters juat as much as anyone else. Don't compare your pain, bc it dosen't make it any less real or significant. Love u dude

No video title has spoken to my sole like this one has, hope you're doing ok Eli. But I guess I'll find out.

Everyone in the break room heard your "Hello, Hello". It was something to be sure.

This one came at a good time for me. Thanks, Plague.

We all have our own definitions of what feeling "normal" means. The hard part is finding a normal that you're content with.

How can someone join the Discord? Is it for Patreons only?

Living with tinnitus and how it affected my sleep for the first year its very much a matter of zen and having a sleep ritual set in stone to deal with the distraction. Mine is about as loud as someone talking to me atm. I'm dealing with it better than most yet a slip up can make it take a half hour or more to sleep. I wouldn't call it as bad as chronic pain, not nearly. But lost sleep is lost sleep. Specifically I tend lie in a basic rest position and focus on the feel of the sheets, use steady breathing and think about plot bunnies or other non-important thoughts, then when a critical level of drowsiness hits I shift to my most ideal rest position (the face down pretzel) and I'm out. It's a negotiation with my dumb monkey body that convinces its simian brain its sleep time.

Although the problems you are facing are clearly substantial, please know that I greatly appreciate it when ANYONE makes an effort to become more self-aware and face what troubles them, although the process is often uncomfortable and even painful. Something that has helped me greatly in that same journey is the mantra 'progress, not perfection' (which I learned from that action movie The Equalizer, oddly enough): there is no 'end goal' to your development, no point where you can stop and say 'well that's it, I'm perfect now'. Your desire to improve, to leave a better legacy than your dad, is in itself the best attitude to have. All improvement has to happen one step at a time, so please be kind to yourself when you don't make huge progress, or even when you feel like you're regressing. And, although I know it's hard to hear something like this when you've spent your whole life believing otherwise, but you ARE valued. You have a place in this world that no-one else could fill exactly *because* of your imperfections. I feel a sense of kinship with you now not because you're perfect, but because I relate to your regrets, fears and mistakes. I've heard it said that a world without suffering would be a world without compassion, because it is our ability to feel sympathy for others that gives us the capacity for that kind of love. Thank you for sharing this with us. It has made me feel better too. :)

This is really nice , hope you're doing well

Maybe these can help someone (but be kind to yourself, you don't need to get it right all the time, and doing any of these will help): 1) Most people fail to act because they don't think they can affect their circumstances - Create a passive baseline (think environmental controls like temperature, noise, light) - Work on low-friction changes first (the smaller the better) to build up confidence 2) Most people are so stressed during the day, the only time they sit with their thoughts is in bed - Finding time to meaningfully or intentionally rest during the day can help you process - Seperating where you work and where you sleep is preferable - Making a TODO list helps offload tasks to the next day 3) The stress of knowing you need to fall asleep makes it harder to sleep - Even a 30-minute nap can be restful - If you can't sleep after 20 minutes, do something relaxing + boring until you get tired 4) Diet, nutrition, and exercise have follow-on effects on sleep - Don't take these as additional challenges but other opportunities to upgrade your sleep 5) Most people have low-awarness, no means of self-dianosis and self-maintenance - Wearables can increase your awareness by visualizing your sleep - Sleep studies can diagnose conditions like sleep aphnea but aren't a silver bullet (do everything else first) TLDR; Here are some core 'best practices' to improve sleep: - Cut-off caffiene and or nicotine 4-8 hours before bed, depending on your sensitivity - Cut-off exercise 2 hours before bed (but shoot for 4-8 prior to help you sleep) - Napping is good but keep napping to a 30' minimum, 115' maximum (avoid 3-5 hours before sleep) - Avoid eating or snacking 2 hours before bed (might make you sleepy but it disrupts your sleep) Note: I know that a lot of this video wasn't sleep related and that I'm doing the "coming up with solutions thing" you mentioned, but trust me, I listened, and it helps to hear how we're working through similar problems.

Thanks eli

thank you for bringing years of great content, fantastic art and laughter

It's kids raising kids. Only that, in the recent past, we finally have the time and opportunity to think about it, realize it and act upon it. At least in my family everyone was just trying to survive in a hostile enviroment, while also thinking: "You know what we need? More mouths to feed to keep that looming financial ruin close."

I didnt know your dad and my dad were clearly lab clones. That hit hard.

50:00 so true. I’m not searching for someone to dump my personal problems on. I can deal with my own emotions on my own, I can take care of myself. Just searching for someone to fill that partner role.

Time to grab my depresso espresso.

Sounds like you need a change of scenery - a break from wherever you are and whatever your daily routine consists of.

30:11 the rule is people only change when they have a reason for that change. The only time people want to change is because they have a thing in their life that they themselves think is bad for whatever reason.

I need more pokemon stuff

❤ Rooting for you Eli You helped a lot of us change too

Winnie cures my depression

glad you like the community. I always passively enjoy your vids but don't do discord or go on any other thing you may do but I like the vids. I find the topics related or unrelated to what I think or look for to be interesting always. Especially about the family thing. I feel like I have some similarities to you from what I hear you say and I'm like damn. Cool stuff as always. idk.

I fucking hate when that happened for me, I got into a panic attack around 2 years now and it was a big awakening for a lot of things but in the beginning with that horrid stressful shit I couldn’t go to sleep and ended up feeling like I had a mental breakdown or was at risk of breaking down every day or so. It wasn’t until after the first few weeks of only barely sleeping like that and being so tired with only 3 hours or 4 that I was able to start getting my life back together

Hey man, hope you're doing well and better, life's a big roller coaster of your brain feeling weird shit and new pains in parts of the body you never knew existed. I have those walls honestly, but at the same time, not? It's complicated cause I genuinely find myself to be quite simple and boring, I don't really try to keep appearances or anything, but, I don't ''feel'' a lot and that always bothers me, I get sad sure, I allow emotions and everything, but its so insanely rare for them to bubble up, like, going to y'know, a funeral, family, and not really crying, not really feeling a lot,, kinda makes me feel evil more than anything. I feel the loss sure, but, i think i just don't have much hang-ups about death, we're all on borrowed time, death's part of life, therefore that's why i am sorta honest all the time, to my feelings, to what i want, but at the same time...i don't want anything, and that fucks me up. Also, with animals, i grew up in a farm, I've seen animals die a lot, I've also seen how deathly nature is, i have friends who are enamored with it's beauty but oblivious to how cruel it can be in our eyes y'know, they look at a tiger and see a big cat, I look at it and see how easily it can just shred a human, even one they like, if they just woke up in a bad mood. I didn't like when my cats and dogs passed away, but it's also, not a big deal, it's part of life, but, to people outside idk, i probably look sociopathic or something.

I literally woke up this morning with pain and depression...

Things will get better. They will.

Theres no way i could really tell from only this about all the problems you face, but there was a few things that stood out to me that may help? If its something that feels stress related, you may just be crashing from a social high which is totally a thing. I think everyone experiences it differently and we all have our own ways to recover, but i think it helps to fully accept this "dichotomy" of emotions that live within us as something that's totally normal and a part of what it means to be human. And that nagging feeling like your decaying may just be your unwillingness to change as you grow older, but also could be something else you just haven't quite dealt with from your past. My biggest piece of just general advice to anyone, You will find your strength in the balance of your life, and not by focusing primarily on the lows and the highs (if that at all makes sense.) Anyways, im no expert. i wish you the best of luck.

Busy Orc here, What you might be experiencing is a sense of vulnerability that is creating growth through self reflection. To a point that you can see it in different people in their personality. That is helping you connect with others. Maybe a feeling of guilt that you may feel you cant have people rely on you when they are around but by yourself you dont have to worrry but yourself? Having kids kind of doe gives you the control to making some one happy. Its easier ro make kids happy. So maybe you need something that gives you that similar feeling that you give them? Like what you have done made an impact greatly? I feel you in a way. Like i cant put my finger on it, but i think we enter a phase of giving back. Maybe its you wanting to give somethibg back what ever that or what it is.

Plague I'm going to need you to stop publicizing my diary for youtube clicks okay

I like how the butt portraits kept changing

2:04 Hypnagogia. I experience this often when I go back on my pain medicine after taking a tolerance break. It can be a bit difficult for a week or two to get used to being back on the medicine. 2:53 I don't know if this is what you're experiencing, but I was diagnosed with hypersomnia. This has caused my sleep cycle to move all around the clock very sporadically. When I have trouble falling asleep, I always find it easier to get back up and maybe try to watch TV for about half an hour more. When I try to force myself to go to sleep, I never can.

Everyday is a struggle, but also has the potential for new experiences and beauties. That's what I like to tell myself to help me get out of bed at least... Much love to you Eli, please know that you're one of the brighter colors of the universe in my book.

"I grew up thinking no one likes me." Ahh Eli, fortunately for you, people love your content!

Plague is my favorite life philosopher.

Ever since I was around four or five years old, I've been suffering from chronic pain caused by a venous malformation in my leg. I'm getting ready to turn 34. On April the 2nd of this year, I had surgery to hopefully help manage the chronic pain. For two months after the surgery, the recovery pain was very intense. But after that, the pain decreased to a significant degree. However, after three weeks of that relief, the recovery pain came back in full. It's been back for about two weeks now, but luckily, it's starting to fade again. Hopefully, if it returns again, it won't be this intense next time. Living with chronic pain can be extraordinarily difficult. Not only is pain itself uncomfortable, but it's also meant to be an alarm bell that your body rings to tell you something is wrong. It can be very psychologically draining to know that there's something wrong and that you can't do anything about it. In my case, with it going away and coming back at the drop of a hat, there's an added sense of fear and uncertainty that's difficult to deal with.

I always resonate so much with what you say man, take care and thanks for bringing up these conversations.

1:50 oh yeah, I've been having that for about 8 months now. It's a new special kind of hell.

what is good my bro head